We
here in the DoD apparently do not know when to stop making bad worse and
decided to try running one more poll. As
readers will recall, we asked you to send along your selections for our list of
the Top 5 Living Deviants. After seeing
what came over the transom, we were going to pretend like this never happened,
but then decided to go ahead and look foolish for asking.
With
great sheepishness but no further ado, the results:
#1: What do you mean by “living?” Readers wanted urgently to know whether
the qualifications for being a “Top Living Deviant” entail that one needed
merely to be biologically alive or whether some more vivid and ambitious
specification is in order. Sure, lots of
deviants are living, but how many, they implored, are LIVING?
#2: The ones with the tallest ladders. Some readers, still unsatisfied with our use
of “top,” decided to treat our height metaphors for quality literally. To them, we say, what about the deviants with
bucket trucks? The bucket truck blessed
would look down on your puny ladders if only they weren’t so busy kissing the
clouds. Take that, you literal minded
chain-yankers.
#3: Zhuangzi.
As
readers well know, Zhuangzi has been dead for a couple of millennia. But apparently for some, no matter how long
he’s been dead, Zhuangzi abides.
#4: Does it come with money and research
leave? Apparently
several respondents mistook our poll for a fellowship application. At any rate, their interest in who is “top”
diminishes radically once they find out there’s no money or leave in it. To
them, we can only say, sorry. We here in
the DoD have nothing to offer but our love and affection.
#5: If this poll was a person, I’d punch it in
the face.
Must you folks in the Zen contingent continuously
invoke traditional Zen practices of short-circuiting hyperanalytical thinking
with blows? The rest of us have only
words to work with, and you’re making us jealous and resentful.
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