Monday, May 16, 2016

Quick Update on Faculty Moves and Likely Changes to the Deviant Rankings

Prominent deviant Laozi has moved to the Department of People Who Never Existed.  This is big news likely to shake things up quite a bit.  Look for the Department of People Who Never Existed to make a run at the top 10, possibly even the top 5, now that Laozi’s there.

The addition of the Kyoto School has made Heidegger way more interesting than he ever was on his own.  Look for Heidegger to break into at least the top 15 in the specialty category “Things that Just Got Way More Cool.”

The Daoists and Primitivists both have what we are told are very high dollar offers out to Zhuangzi.  If either should snag him, they’ll of course make significant strides into Deviant-rific territory.  Most likely scenario, though, is that Zhuangzi will stay where he is, in Uncategorizable.  We’re told he’s unwilling to lose his happy close working conditions with Borges there.

Requisite Note on How to Interpret the Rankings
The rankings are developed based on the results of a snowball fight held annually in the DoD’s parking lot.  In advising prospective students how to read these numbers, we spoke with Chair of the Advisory Board Joshu, who had this to say: “Nothing.”

No comments:

Post a Comment