Monday, October 17, 2016

Faculty on the Move and an Update on Rankings

Zhuxi has retired, leaving the specialty ranking Philosophers Whose Work is Perversely Abused by Institutions wide open. 

Nagarjuna has declined an offer from the Daoists and decided to remain in the Madhyamika department, solidifying their top five status in the specialty category, Philosophers who Beat Hume to the Punch.

After years of peripatetic wandering, Confucius has returned to the state of Lu.  And, as we all know, wherever Confucius goes, that place is going to be top of the tops in the specialty category Philosophers Who, To Their Credit, Hegel Didn’t Much Like.

A Note about this Year’s Rankings

While we’re updating as we can about faculty moves, as many already know, our full list of program rankings has not been updated in some time.  Alas, the weather round here has been too warm for us to conduct the requisite snowball fight in the parking lot, the procedure through which we decisively determine which programs of deviance are the best. 

Aware that the absence of an updated ranking would be just too sad, we entered into protracted deliberations about what other projectiles we might employ.  What, we pondered, could we throw?  After entertaining multiple candidates, we became painfully aware that this is a question that tends not toward edification.  There are too many things one might throw and too many of them should never be thrown.  Consequently, the best advice we can offer prospective deviants is that one can never go wrong applying to the highly esteemed and indeed peerless Top Department Elsewhere.

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